We have been languishing under the burden of our own self-induced misery.
Let me explain.
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When we moved to Frog Ranch in late December it was always our plan to build out an equestrian center for Virginia to do her Coaching with Horses and Heart of a Leader courses. This involves remodeling our beautiful barn with horse stalls and a tack room and building a covered round pen.
The barn remodel seemed simple enough and we lined up a builder early in the year to start the process. Well, it is almost May, and not a thing has been actually done on the barn. Not. One. Thing.
I won’t bore you with the details, but we have made a number of missteps along the way. Some day we could star in a series of books a friend wants to write called “All the Mistakes Have Been Made.” You’ll find us in the “remodeling a barn” chapter.
Anyway, the lack of progress has been making us crazy. Pisssed. Feeling like we are failing and running out of time. Also, more than a little grumpy with each other. Bottom line = Major Suckage.
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But wait a minute? What is real source of all this frustration? The answer is inside us: we both EXPECTED that we should be done by now. That’s right. Our suffering is internally created and isn’t even rooted in realistic expectations. We just imagined it should be easy and cheap and quick. And then those imaginations became reality in our minds. When life didn’t go the way we imagined the resulting gap became the source of our breakdown.
Don’t get me wrong – we are excited to get the barn finished and look forward to welcoming a small herd of hoofed family members. But there really isn’t any reason that the barn has to be done NOW. In the meantime, we can run our horse programs out of our friend Lynn’s beautiful FromTheMotherFarm. We can use our time and energy to move our many other projects forward. We can slow down and ENJOY living in this beautiful place.
Fortunately, we are making this shift to slowing down and enjoying this part of the journey, and accepting the pace of the barn project as it is ready to unfold.
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How did we create this shift? The change started with the New Moon and a little luck. At the beginning of the year we made a commitment to do monthly “Year of the Horse” Fire Ceremonies on each new moon in 2014. We used the ritual of the fire ceremony to reset our priorities and intentions around the barn and let go of the beliefs and expectations that were causing heartbreak. It also helped to share our learning with the community of folks that joined us for the fire. As always, the support and companionship of other beings is key in creating transformation and learning.
And now the sun is shining. Virginia is off at a riding lesson and I have been out riding my bike. We enjoyed our first sunny evening in the lounge chairs last night. All is good and right for the moment. Our first and foremost job is to live in gratitude and enjoy this place, this moment. To listen for and discover our true natural rhythms of living and loving in this beautiful place, free from the crushing weight of expectations.
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PS I don’t think you will be surprised to learn that once we let go of needing to force this project forward the perfect builder showed up at our door. Life is such a fun adventure when we let it happen!
